Tuesday, October 24, 2017

AUGUST in October

A realization. A lesson. Just like regret, they always comes at the end. But no, no regret! Only lessons.



In August, I realized that no matter how deep the connection was, no matter how strong the 'vibe' is, you can't confuse that with chemistry. Especially if it makes you feel bad about yourself and it doesn't make you happy, you should remove yourself from the equation.

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I was soul searching this whole time and found out a thing or two about myself, like how I need something in return, anything. I'm the kind of person that naturally expect people to do the same thing that I do to them. It takes quite some time to accept the fact that people don't owe me anything and that what they do should be enough. I just think effort should be mutual. But, I also knew that people would put in effort in things they want real bad, something they think would be worth it. They wouldn't give up.

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Pray before making any moves. Think of all the consequences and scenarios that could and would happen. In life, everything hurts, the best thing you could do when you hurt is to grow and glow from it. Know when it doesn't serve you anymore. Know that worrying and making assumptions stops you from living - there is no such thing of real security, the only thing that's real is not having any security - to live life to the fullest and live in the moment.

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Memories are something you can visit every now and then, tangible or intangible memories could linger in your mind and that my friend, is the devil of moving on. Forget chat history, because honey, DELETE THOSE - if you're trying to move on, try to cater to your higher self and what makes you the happiest. How? listen to your heart, trust your gut feelings - it is in a way how the universe is trying to tell you what you should do. Honestly, if the guy or girl really loves you - with genuine good intentions, they will want you to be happy, too.

Otherwise, give thanks that it's in the past - that you've experienced such thing to learn from, and move forward. Move forward and allow yourself to give and receive love, forgiveness, knowledge and experience. Allow manifestation flow into your life. Focus on things that you want, imagine yourself owning it and let God do all the things above you.

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You ought to know that in relationship, whether it is love, friendship or between your family members there's no such thing as right or wrong. You're allowed to choose who you put in your life. You're allowed to define your own rules, your own terms. However, you should be open about it be clear to the people around you. Communicate your feelings, ask about theirs. How are they feeling, and compromise. At the same time, you should know that we all have our own way of feeling happy. And despite how open, peaceful and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you as deeply as they've met themselves.

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"When we are no longer able to change the situation, we are challenged to change ourselves" 
- V. B. Frankl

I don't know how many times you've heard this, but you gotta listen... you can only control your own reaction.

In order for me to learn how to control my overthinking and manage my stress I need to be able to control what I allow in my life. When you become an enabler of someone to hurt you, you're blocking your own blessings. Let go of that person and stop being an enabler. I know how hard it is to be happy and it allows me to let go of things, and to genuinely want others to be happy, even if it's not with me. Keep counting your blessings.

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What have been really helping me throughout the whole process is experiencing new things in life that would elevate me and adds to my knowledge. One, journaling - lessen uneasiness and unload thoughts and feelings, it really is therapeutic. Another thing that gets my mind off of things is painting. I picked up my brush in May, not only to distract myself but visiting an old lover of mine, water color. Picking up a hobby has proved to help cope with stress.

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Baby, if I learned one thing from all of this is that EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING that you're looking for is within you. Take your time before bed and learn to get to know yourself. Only then you'll feel secure of YOURSELF, only then you'll feel loved by YOURSELF, only then you'll feel happy with YOURSELF. And baby, that's the only way you'll get the glow and become the magnet of abundance. The magnet of love and everything you want and need in this world.

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As I was digging deep withing myself - enjoying my utmost solitude, healing, I was able to see it in full circle; how being better for myself will effect my surroundings. Making sure that I'm the best for myself, my family, my friends and the world around me. Eventually, reaching my goals of being happy regardless what it looks like to others (mind/matter) and feeling content. Focusing on abundance, feeling good, making peace with situations and living my best life. Owning my best soul, yet.



Stay Stylish,


Now I know how to carry my heart lighter, live happier, smile more often, love myself and everything is starting to fall into place.

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